There is a very special relationship between parents and children. During this relationship, children have the opportunity to observe and experience many things about life. There is a similar situation for families, and they have the chance to learn and practice many things while raising their children. However, sometimes families may not know how to treat their children and how to teach them things. Discipline is one of the most difficult subjects to teach. Because the concept that we call discipline is quite abstract and it is often confused with the concept of punishment. To prevent this, let's first look at the difference between the two concepts:
Discipline: To help the child to think and behave in a healthy and positive way. For example, you should tell your child that it is wrong to lie, that the right thing is not to lie, and help him or her to internalize this behavior. Your child does so to avoid punishment, so does the right behavior to come from within.
Criminal: It is the family's reaction to the child to stop unwanted behavior, usually involving physical or verbal violence. Since the child sees punishment as an external control, he does not develop his own internal control mechanism and performs the right behavior only to avoid punishment, not because he thinks the behavior is correct.
Mostly applied punishment methods:
Physical: Pushing, beating, shaking, kicking, or other physical attacks that may cause more severe harm to the childSpecial: name, humiliate, embarrass, swear or mockRemember the prizes: Not having a birthday party for the child, taking her shopping to her favorite television show such as preventing him from watching, forbidding him to go out with his friends, canceling his permission for the weekend alandırma Punishment by giving other work: asking him to do housework for 1 week, forcing him to wash the car or throw out the garbage of the house…
Physical and verbal punishment methods do not have long-term positive effects on your child's behavior, on the contrary, they cause your child to suffer deep psychological wounds. Insisting on these methods will not have appropriate, healthy and positive effects on your child's behavior, but will cause you to abuse him. To prevent this, I recommend that you learn how to properly discipline your child without using violence, and if necessary ask for help from an expert.
Studies with children who have been subjected to physical violence have revealed the fact that these children, over time, disliked and even hated all people, especially themselves. It was also understood that these children had combined the concept of punishment with the concept of paying, and it was determined that they had developed a thought system that believed that they paid the price of their mistakes with the physical violence they saw. So what does that mean? “When they are ready to pay this price, they think that they can behave inappropriately,“ he says. Therefore, we can conclude that the child who has been subjected to physical violence does not understand that his or her behavior is wrong and should not do it, but on the contrary, he continues his negative behaviors. On the other hand, in response to this, families increase the dose of violence and a vicious circle emerges. And as a result, children are pushed in the opposite direction.
Verbal violence, like physical violence, is not effective in preventing or correcting wrong and negative behaviors. The persistent verbal violence affects the child's psychology very negatively and unfortunately leads to very negative ideas about his self, self-esteem.
The methods of withdrawing rewards and punishment by giving other jobs are among the methods you can use to discipline your child, but what you should consider when applying these methods is whether your practice is suitable for your child's development and how often and how often these penalties are imposed. Please note that methods that are not suitable for your child's development and that are frequently applied over long periods of time will harm your child instead of referring to positive behavior!
Effective ways to discipline your child:
Separation method: If your child is experiencing unrest in the area, it will be effective to leave it for a while. For example, taking your child in a fight with his brother to another room for a while and keeping him playing will calm him down and prevent a violent debate between siblings.
Behavior management: For example, suppose your child is having problems with a friend in the park. In such a case, shouting at your child or insulting him in people is a behavior that you should not do, instead you should take him away from the environment, listen to him and allow him to express his feelings about the event. Then you should ask him for solutions and make him aware of his responsibility. Directing in another direction: First stop the negative behavior of your child, then explain to him why you stopped him and direct him to another activity of positive nature. For example, if your child is scratching the walls and this is not appropriate, stop it and then direct him to another activity that may be an alternative to his behavior, for example, suggest covering his wall with large white paper, so that he can easily draw on the paper.
Have it repaired: When your child spills something on the floor, instead of shouting or cleaning the spill, direct your child to do the necessary cleaning. Or give your child the opportunity to repair his or her toy when it does damage to it. This way, your child will be able to see the result of his / her behavior and realize that he / she should take responsibility for this. Stop reacting to your child's negative behavior, in short, don't care about them, but keep a close eye on their positive behavior and reward them. As long as you follow this tactic, you will observe that negative behaviors disappear one by one.
Keep the job tight: When you ask your child to do something, express it clearly and comprehensively to what you want. And use a tone that says your expectation is certain. If your child thinks that you speak as if he is begging for something, he or she will never do what you want, be sure.
Be biased: Remember, being prejudiced and cool-headed will always make your job easier! For example, if you have a problem with your child, forget that you are his mother for a while and think that you are his teacher or your child is your neighbor's child and not your child, and consider how you will react in such a situation. Make sure you will achieve much healthier results…
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