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“There are no good parents, there are enough good parents. I I heard it from Banu Büyükkal. What a true promise. But many mothers are trying to be perfect rather than good enough. Including me! And not even knowing how to be perfect. Is there a recipe for that? I do not know that! Is it perfect motherhood to be with the baby, every second, every second? I guess not. Does it mean not wanting to be a good mother? My situation is this: I think I should be with the children every time I'm home because I'm already working. I feel guilty if I had a busy occupation like reading a few pages of my favorite book, watching movies and doing skin care while my daughter was awake! Is it normal? Do you feel that way? It must be very natural for one to want something for himself. But with the people around, they believe that a mother should always be with her child. If the woman goes out to dinner with her husband; There are also those who say, bırak This leaves the child. In Let him take care of his child until he goes to sport de. As such, it is guilty that people want something for themselves. I read a nice article on the internet while I was thinking about it. As always I wanted to share with you. See what this psychologist Ebru Yılmaz wrote in this article:
There is an announcement made in the aircraft. In case of danger, it is recommended that mothers wear the oxygen mask first and then to their children. Ordinary, perhaps heard many times, actually contains a very important philosophy about child education. In the role of the learned mother, the child always has priority. But when trying to save her child, the mother often doesn't notice that she's destroying herself. If the mother is out of breath, the chances of saving the child are completely lost.
Of course, there should be situations where children have priority. But these priorities should not be priorities that will destroy the mother. The role of motherhood in our society is considered together with the term etme broom etme. When the mother gives up and starts to give something to the child non-stop, the expectation from the child rises even if she does not want to, but claims otherwise. The child will not be able to meet these expectations today or in the future. While the mother has given such a reply, she thinks that she cannot get back and she is left with big dreams. There are mothers all around us, perhaps very close, who have sacrificed their youth for their children. Such a relationship cannot be expected to be healthy. The mother lent her children a loan they could never pay. No son can pay for a whole life. A lifelong gratitude is born; A grateful relationship is not the preferred form for a healthy relationship.
And one day, the mother, whose expectation is not met in one way or another, says, n What have I done for you ”, and the answer she receives can be very painful; Ayd If you hadn't… ”In fact, the subtitle of this sentence hurts the mother as well as the child. Child ın If you hadn't, you wouldn't have left me in debt like that… If you hadn't, I would have felt more free…
Isn't that painful? There are mothers who resign from life when the child is born. They quit their jobs, have no time to take care of themselves, gradually isolate from their social environment, their relationship with their spouses is almost like two friends living in the same house. With the birth of the child, life has stopped. Four to five years have passed and the boy has grown up and has reached school age. What will happen now? Come on, erase? Or depression? We know that in such a mother-oriented life, the relationship with the child is inevitable.
Let's ask ourselves some questions. Let's see if we have a motherly life:
- When was the last time you met your girlfriends and went to dinner?
- When was the last time you went to a bookstore on your own and looked at new books and albums?
- When was the last time you had a romantic dinner with your wife and walked the streets hand in hand?
- When was the last time you had a coffee with your friends after work?
- When was the last time you had a holiday with your partner?
The answers to these questions are ook very long time, I do not remember ”type, you need to look at your motherhood again. If the mother is happy, the child will be happy. If the mother is unhappy and has no personal satisfaction, the child development books she reads will not work.
Briefly; If you do not make additions or subtractions about yourself to the role of motherhood that you have learned, that is, if you do not make yourself happy, it will be inevitable to get tired and sometimes even exhausted in this long-term journey.
Let us come to why we exempt fathers gerekirse Admittedly, fathers are better than mothers.
Life has more meanings than being a mother. Elik Motherhood olabilir may be the most important, but it should never be the only meaning.
I was going to quote some parts of the article but I couldn't resist, I published them all. In my opinion, each paragraph is of particular importance. Wishing to be happy mothers and to raise happy children…